Glow up your garden with my lit drip
- Laura Crystal
- Nov 12, 2021
- 4 min read
Mitsuba
Nicknames: Japanese parsley, mountain celery, honeywort, white chevril
Given Name: Cryptotaeania japonica
Family: Apiacaea (Carrot)
OMG, I'm high-key excited that you want to get to know me. Where did you hear about me? Facebook? Tik Tok? Twitter?
Maybe you traveled to Asia, where I'm from, and discovered how in Japan I'm fire as a garnish for miso soup and eggs? Well, no, I didn't actually mean fire as in spicy or a hot-temperature. You see, I have kind of a cooling flavour and if you heat my leaves, I loose taste and go bitter. I just meant popular- feel me? Anyway I'm starting to make my way into Western food (and seed catalogues) too where people often compare me to parsley.
But, that ain't it chief. It makes me salty! Even though my three-lobed leaves do look like flattened parsley and I do have a similar flavour, I've got steez and parsley is so cheugy.
Plus I'm a perennial so my delicate white flowers, on stems rising 6 inches above my foliage, will come back every year. Unless you decide to eat my roots that is. TBH, even though they're tasty (blanched or sauteed) you shouldn't dig me up because your garden wouldn't be as beautiful without my carrot family lewk.
And if you want something that hits different, you can even plant my purple-leaved variety- it's snatched. Periodt.
BTW, do you like my selfie? No filters. It's just me, no cap (#nocapplantperfection, #trueplantbeauty, #mitsubalicious). Yas, I know I'm thirsty (for water and attention) but at least I'm not boujee. All I really want is a patch of moist, dank soil in part or full shade. Yeet! That'd be dope.
Then I could focus my energy on my environmentally woke endeavours like providing shelter for insects and nectar for pollinators.
Something that's not so woke: according to a mid-20th century Chinese reference book, I am very popular in China because of "[my] asserted power to make the female `revert' to her husband."
Big yikes! This is totally cringe.
But I do have actual lit herbal powers. You want receipts? In China I was traditionally used as a tonic to strengthen the body and one scientific study states that I am, “a promising source of natural antioxidant, antibacterial and anti-inflammatory constituents”. I'm not trying to flex but antioxidants are awesome sauce!
It's been Gucci spilling tea. Check me on Pinterest for some sic recipes - you'll be a Stan.
Oh! But before I bounce, finna give a shout out to my North American fam jam, honewort (Cryptotaeania canadensis). No cap, that plant is almost my twin!
LMIRL (let's meet in real life),
Trendy Mitsuba
P.S. This post was cray so don't worry if you're baby. Just read the glossary to say bye Felicia to your FOMO!
Glossary:
Baby- feeling helpless or not capable
Big Yikes – yikes, only bigger
Boujee- describes someone who is fancy and likes extravagant things
Bounce- leave
Bye Felicia- good riddance
Cheugy – opposite of trendy
Cray - crazy
Cringe – used when someone is extremely embarrassing or awkward
Dank - excellent and very high quality
Dope - Cool or awesome
Drip - someone's look or style
Fam jam - family
Finna - “I am going to”
Fire - Hot, trendy, amazing, or on point (formerly "straight fire")
Flex – show off
FOMO – fear of missing out
Glow up - a transformation from bad to good
Gucci - Good, cool, or going well
High-key – excited and wanting people to know about it
Hits different – feels better than what the standard experience would be
Lewk- your own personal signature style
Lit - Amazing, cool, or exciting
No cap – no lie
OMG - An abbreviation for "Oh my gosh" or "Oh my God"
Periodt - a way to express facts
Receipts - proof
Salty - Bitter, angry, agitated
Sic/Sick - Cool or sweet
Slay- to do really well
Snatched - Looks good, perfect, or fashionable; the new "on fleek"
Stan- extreme fan
Steez- effortless style
TBH - To be honest
Tea - Gossip, situation, story, or news
That ain't it cheif – a way of expressing disapproval of something
Thirsty - Trying to get attention
Turnt- really excited
Yeet – an expression of excitement
Woke - having awareness
References:
Canadian Botanical Association (2001). “Poorly Known Economic Plants of Canada 31. Honewort, Cryptotaenia canadensis (L.) DC”. CBA Bulletin 34(4): 44. https://www.cba-abc.ca/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/vol_34_4.pdf
“Cryptotaeania japonica” (n.d.). North Carolina Extension. https://plants.ces.ncsu.edu/plants/cryptotaenia-japonica/
“Cryptotaeania japonica f. Atropurpurea” (n.d.). Missouri Botanical Garden.https://www.missouribotanicalgarden.org/PlantFinder/PlantFinderDetails.aspx?taxonid=265469
Enan, R. (2021, October 12). “The Newest Teen Slang Trends of 2021”. Family Education. https://www.familyeducation.com/teens/newest-teen-slang-trends-2021
Fonseca-Cortés, Andrés & Peña-Torres, Jairo. (2021). First record of the genus Cryptotaenia (Apiaceae, Oenantheae) in Colombia. Darwiniana, nueva serie. 9. 63-71. 10.14522/darwiniana.2021.91.942
Lu, Jun & Fu, Xinjing & Liu, Ting & Zheng, Ying & Jiahaochen, & Luo, Feijun. (2018). Phenolic composition, antioxidant, antibacterial and anti-inflammatory activities of leaf and stem extracts from Cryptotaenia japonica Hassk. Industrial Crops and Products. 122, 522-532.
Ming-Ching Cheng, Li-Yun Lin, Tung-Hsi Yu, and Robert Y. Peng (2008). Hypolipidemic and Antioxident Activity of Mountain Celery (Cryptotaeania japonica). Journal of Agricultural and Food Chemistry, 56 (11), 3997-4003. https://doi.org/10.1021/jf703593v
“Mitsuba” (n.d.). Cornell Botanic Gardens. https://cornellbotanicgardens.org/plant/mitsuba/
"Raising Teens: 98 Teen Slang Words Every Mom Should Know in 2021" (2021, February 20). Mother Lovin' Chaos. https://motherlovinchaos.com/2021/02/20/teen-slang-words-every-parent-should-know/
Rohm Nulsen, C. (2021, July 29). “35 Trending Gen Z Slang Phrases and What They Mean”. Family Education. https://www.familyeducation.com/slang/35-gen-z-slang-phrases-all-parents-should-know
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